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Jul. 12th, 2010

joffrey "who cares"

Radtastic New Job

 Yes, you heard right. I have the coolest job evarrrr.

I'm a nanny for a little adorkable 10 year old ginger girl. She's chubby and nerdy and loves Avatar: The Last Airbender more than anyone I've ever met. 

Today was my first day in charge of her and we made keychains and watched All Dogs Go to Heaven. It's so cuuuuuute. You just wanna squeeze her to death. Sure, she talks a lot, but what 10 year old doesn't?

I just wanted to brag cause I love my job.
We're going to the zoo tomorrow. Fuck yeah!

Jul. 8th, 2010

joffrey "who cares"

Summer Movie Line-Up

So, there are many movies that have come out that I've seen and many on the way that I'd like to.
So. Here's my opinions and expectations, homies.
p.s. there are a few scattered spoilers

The Good

1. Toy Story 3
I saw it and LOVED IT. It was the perfect sequel (something I believed to be an urban legend). Yes, it was sad that so many of the original toys couldn't fit into the script, but the new characters were just as boss. From that Satan bear, to that motherfucking creepy monkey, to prison tat baby, the new additions held up the legacy of rad. 

2. Eclipse
Okay, okay. I know. It's Twilight. And while it certainly wasn't the best thing I've ever seen, it was the best yet in the ridiculous saga. There were several moments where my ginger and I were the only ones in the theater laughing (rofl camouflage blanket) and it was overall an enjoyable evening. Plus, we met these adorable kids in the row in front of us. Yes, they jabbered too much, but they were like, 10 and perfectly allowed to like Twilight.

3. The A-Team
Easily the best movie I've seen in theaters since Whip It. I loved this movie. Bradley Cooper paraded around shirtless, all the while having flawless comedic timing. And the complete loon of Murdock, played by the man I've never heard of, Sharlto Copley, was the funniest thing I've seen in a while. 

4. Get Him to the Greek
Okay, I haven't actually seen this one. But I really really really want to. I heard Tom Felton has a cameo and Jonah Hill improvs a scene with him, involving many Draco Malfoy taunts. I cannot not see this at some point in my life.

5. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
This looks really good. It's apparently based on the short by the same name in the old old Disney animated movie Fantasia. I wish this was out right now because I would drag Bobert to go see it with me tonight. It looks funny and I've always had an irrational soft spot for Nic Cage.

6. Inception
Pretty cast, kick ass visual effects. And I'll see anything with Ellen Page. DO WANT.

7. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
YESSS. I was a little bi-furious. 
I can't wait for this movie.

The Bad

1. The Karate Kid
I watched the first few minutes online and simply couldn't get through it. It's just...bleh. The kid, Will Smith's to be precise, is fine, but Jackie Chan bothers me for some unknown reason. It's a remake that shouldn't have happened. My favorite KKid movie will forever be the one with the girl.

2. Shrek Forever After
Once again, it's a movie I haven't seen. And really don't want to. The 3rd in this series was god awful and I expect little more from the 4th. 

3. Despicable Me
Well, maybe not bad. This could be cute. But I spend money too discriminately on movies to give it a chance. 

4. Salt
Idk Angelina. Idek. Changeling was a flop. Come on now.

5. Charlie St. Cloud
That's a boss Zefron poster.

The Ugly

1. The Last Ai- oh fuck it. I'm not even typing the title.
Ugh. There are no words. M. Night, we were getting along so well! I mean, come on. I liked the Happening. THE HAPPENING. You cannot claim I had a preexisting bias! And I love the cartoon this movie is based on to boot. But sir, you butchered it. It was slow, the acting was terrible, and the effects were shitty. Good day.
I said good day!


Nov. 15th, 2009

joffrey "who cares"

Posts to come

So, I have chosen a new hobby!
I'm going to begin writing about the people watching that I do all the time anyway. I frequently like to sit outside the MARTA station and observe the odd characters that come through and now I'm going to actually write down the life stories I imagine for them.
So, look for those in the future.

In addition, my friends are crazy fuckers. The end.

Oct. 29th, 2009

joffrey "who cares"

Bah humbug

So, I realize I haven't updated in a very very very long time.
Shame on me and my future offspring. 
But I'm here now! So let's get cracking.

Life's been...pretty fantastic. College is motherfucking awesome, despite the petty, middle school drama that goes along with attending a women's college. Too many hormones, too many girls getting their periods simultaneously. But what's to be done really? Midol and a clue are the only things girls need to get. Because other than that, I love it here.

There will be no more srs bsns in this post though! I have spoken.
I'm going to Atlanta Gay Pride this weekend with my roommate. Should most definitely be interesting and a truckload of fun; who doesn't love pride on Halloween? I do.

Well, shit. I gotta go. Class then work.
Have a nice day kids. And remember, don't be silly, wrap your willy. 

BTW, Jasper disapproves of the rl haters. Who need to find a new place to be hypocritical, cause Walters 3rd isn't having it. =P

Jul. 17th, 2009

joffrey "who cares"

Jasper not only does not approve, he's gonna fucking bitch slap you

Will the twihards never stop until they've taken over every form of media plausible?!
What's next?!
Twilight radio shows?!?!?!

Kill me now please.

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joffrey "who cares"

Jasper most definitely approves!

 Check it fools.
Jimmy Fallon, in a moment of pure hilarity, has spoofed both Spunk Ransom and DanRad. In one fantastic video.
Watch the hilarious madness!
Then comment and tell me if you approved. 

Go Children!

Jun. 30th, 2009

joffrey "who cares"

Sounds delicious

Today was not fun day Paraguay.
And Jackson Rathbone probably does not approve.

It was mostly boring.
I stayed at home and watched Will & Grace and Desperate Housewives. Cause that's how cool I am.

Then I went to the store and got ice cream and quaker rice snacks of the cheddar variety.
Then, when I got home, I proceeded to eat an ENTIRE bag while watching Ice Age.
Cause I have a serious addiction. Thank you so much Delaney. 

Then I watched A Goofy Movie online. Jealous?

Now I'm going to eat pancakes. Probably chocolate chip ones.

Seacrest, OUT.

Jun. 29th, 2009

joffrey "who cares"


 Emma Watson is in EVERY magazine known to man at the moment.
What the hell is up with that?

I mean, yeah, she's pretty, but in these failing economic times, does she really need to have lavish photo shoots in every single magazine available to get publicity?
I mean, jeezzz. Completely unnecessary. 

Jackson Rathbone does not approve. 
Of this, or of the squealing little girls sitting behind us at Transformers 2.
I mean, seriously. 
It's a fail trailer you've seen a hundred times.
Stop orgasming back there, you're kicking my seat. 

Jun. 28th, 2009

joffrey "who cares"

Remove head from sphincter, then drive.

 Yesterday. Awesome day. Paraguay. 

So, you ask, how did I spend my Saturday?
I shall tell you.
Well, I got up at 8, showered and stuff, and made a lot of phone calls trying to see who was hanging.
Then at 10:30, Becca picked me up and we went to Publix.
Chelsea picked us up from there and we were running late, so Debora was already at Chelsea's house, even though she wasn't.

Once inside Chelsea's house, we watched the ever so fabulous 10 Things I Hate About You!
It was amazing and marked the beginning of the word "sphincter" stalking us. 
I drooled over Patrick Verona and we all loved the awesome black teacher and the chick who was in love with William Shakespeare. 

Then we scrounged around Chelsea's kitchen and ate stuff.
Then we went downstairs and watched 3/4 of Mulan. 
Debora, at one point, cried out "They're gonna kill the Asian guy!"
And we were like, "WTF Debora! THEY ALL BE ASIAN"
We left around 3, after much persuading on my part, explaining that it was definitely going to be packed at the 3:45 showing of Transformers 2.
And it was. So, that's one big I told you so dance right there.
On the way there, this asshole cop rode the Chelsea's bumper and was trying to be all cool and we got pissed. Yeah.

Then we got concessions and I paid $3.50 for a bottle of water. Holy fuckballs.
The movie was really awesome, many more giant robot fights than in the first one.
The word 'sphincter' was in it, cause it stalked us.
And there was this hilarious Deceptecon that became an Autobot that was like, a grumpy old British man.
And another one that switched sides that humped Megan Fox's leg and called her a warrior goddess.
At which point, I decided I was going to be a warrior goddess from here on out.

Then we dropped Debora off and went to Chelsea's.
At this point, I realized Socks was a Deceptecon and proceeded to hold and interrogate him.
But that is one fucking clever cat, cause he didn't cop to a thing. But I know.

Anyway, we finished Mulan and watched Hercules. 
I sang along. 
Then we discovered I have a thing for animated redheads.
But only animated ones.

And then Chelsea drove us back to Publix and Becca took me home.
That was my Saturday.
How was yours?

Jun. 23rd, 2009

joffrey "who cares"

This is a bit late, but can you blame me?

 So, last Friday was fabulous despite the biggest movie failure of all time. 
Year One...no. It shouldn't have happened. 
I know guys, I know. My idea, my bad. I was wrong. Michael Cera's adoraklutzness does not make up for the movie's excessive sodomy/bestiality jokes and overall disgustingness. 
Definitely not renting that one.

And even though the majority of the group's attempts to movie skip to the proposal were thwarted, we still had a freaking awesome time!
We went to McDonald's right after the movie because it's right across the street and we were starving. Then, after about 45 minutes there and another demonstration of Trey's third nipple, we went to Coldstone. I got a milkshake, Bobby got twix ice cream, Becca got Birthday Cake Remix, and Trey got Lemon Sorbert. 
The guy who made my milkshake seemed to suffer from a serious case of bitterness and depression; he never once showed any emotion other than general gloominess. I was too afraid to tip him, lest I be forced to listen to this poor, unfortunate soul attempt to sing to me (as Coldstone employees are made to do when they are tipped). Plus, he just seemed kind of angry at the world.
Anyway, everyone shared their ice cream once we were at the table- though I stole Bobby's spoon to do this since you have to actually ask for a spoon and I was terrified of Cynical Depression Boy and his Superpowers of Gloom. 

After we were done with our ice cream, we played a game of BS. In the end, Trey caught me bullshitting, allowing Bobby, who came after me, to put his final card down. By now it was like nine something and the sun was setting. We all went out into the parking lot and I found some bubbles in the back of my car. Becca and Bobby blew bubbles and we all kind of goofed off. Some old guy was laughing at us, but he was just jealous.
We were right next to highway 400 and at one point, this jeep full of teenagers or preteens or whatever drove past. All of them were "WHOOO!"ing at the top of their lungs. Trey busted out with a "OH YEAH! WHOO! I KNOW I'M HOT!" causing us all to nearly bust a gut laughing. 

After our parking lot tomfoolery, I drove Bobby to Publix, where we switched cars and he drove, with Becca and Trey following in her car. We all went to Bobby's house and played Smash Brothers something nonsense. Suffice it to say, I lost. Bad. Like, "Brianne, do you live under a rock?!" bad. Half the time, I fell off the platform because of my own failness. Scratch that, all the time. 

After video games, we played with Bobby's EPIC collection of fake/toy/wooden weapons. And I was the bad guy cause I had a black shirt on? Even though Trey was in all black? Hmmm.
Then Becca was being annoying with this chirping toy chick so I put it down my shirt and forgot about it.
Then there were perverted jokes, followed by a slight religious debate. 

After, I went to grab my purse since it was almost midnight and I had to be home between then and one. 
It was at this point that the forgotten chick fell put of my shirt and people laughed at me.
Good times.

But that was my Friday. Care to tell me about yours?

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